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• The first year is impossible

• My wife is going to be in a constant bad mood throughout morning sickness.

• The most important thing I could do to be a good dad is to be a great husband.

• Don’t let your wife make a list for you when she leaves for a long weekend.

• You can get your kids to do what you want if you give them two choices- Do you want to go to bed now or in 5 minutes?

• Don’t be only “Mr fun dad” and let the wife be the one rule setter/ disciplinarian.

• Trust your gut and not the books.

By Cathy Cassani Adams

Last Saturday I returned to WGN Radio to discuss nursing in public, an often divisive topic.

As a parent/child advocate and mother of three, breastfeeding seems like a natural idea to embrace, but only if the benefits of nursing are understood and the discomfort felt when witnessing a woman nurse are questioned.

We all agree we need to take care and protect our children.  We also know through research that nursing is absolutely ideal for a growing child.

It’s the best nutrition, it’s important for brain development, it’s ideal for attaching and bonding with the mother, it protects the baby from a long list of illnesses and it can protect from developing allergies.

It may also lead to greater cognitive abilities and higher IQ scores and reduce the chance of obesity….not to mention that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months.

Nursing also stimulates the mother’s body to release hormones that cause her uterus to contract and heal, it enhances bonding with the baby, it reduces the chance of post partum depression, and some studies say it lowers the risk of breast and uterine cancers.

Yet, it still makes us so uncomfortable.

Forty-five states (including IL) have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private place.

But some women are still asked to leave public places when they are nursing.

Unfortunately, I think it comes down to sex.  The breast has been so sexualized that it’s difficult to view it any other way.

Every billboard, television show, video, and magazine use women’s bodies to sell and titillate – so much so that even a family-friendly show has a typical, everyday mom in a low cut shirt (which most likely points to the underrepresentation of female decision makers in the media).

If a woman’s identity is solely based on her sexuality, it is difficult to respect her role as a mother and caregiver, which leads to feeling “offended” when she is nursing her child.

But we know that women are so much more than their sexuality, right?

So many women I know stopped nursing early or didn’t nurse at all because they didn’t want to deal with nursing in public places or in the workplace.

They felt unsupported – they were unsupported; so it’s understandable why this choice was made.

Yes, of course women can cover up with a blanket while nursing, and many feel this is necessary as our country leans into the idea of public nursing – maybe we require baby steps as our culture embraces breastfeeding as a normal part of mothering.

But covering up is not the only issue.  It’s more about embracing women as multidimensional beings who can be sexual, but also strong, wise, powerful, and nurturing.

It’s about supporting women as they make brave and bold choices that benefit the health and emotional needs of their children, which in turn benefits our society as a whole.

Women everywhere are realizing the joy and power of pregnancy and nursing through simple things such as trendy maternity & nursing clothes or pregnancy & birth photography, to the bigger things such as natural birth and breastfeeding.

They understand on a deeper level that bringing a child into the world is not something to fear, and breastfeeding a child is not something to hide, but rather things to be embraced and celebrated.

Pregnancy and nursing necessitate the selfless act of giving up your body for your child, and everyday mothers do it willingly, sometimes over and over again.

Can we support them in public, in the workplace, and at home as they nourish and nurture the next generation?  I think all of us can agree that our society is aching for more nourishment and nurturing…

And for the sake of families everywhere, can we take the shame and fear out of nursing so we can get back to making the best choices for our children?

Women supporting women, men supporting the women and babies they love, and all us, as a culture, supporting the best interests of our children.

 Click here to hear Cathy’s WGN interview - click here to view her website

Listen tomorrow as Cathy and Todd discuss this blog and other parenting issues on Zen Parenting Radio

Click here to hear a previous Zen Parenting Radio discussion about nursing

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